Before starting this week’s review I have been asked to point out (by Sellers himself) that Mark Sellers scored two conversions. He may have scored a try but this may just be a rumour emanating from his own mouth. Five tries were scored and I can only find scorers on my list for four of them. However any suggestion that Sellers may in any way be victim of a conspiracy to sully his good name and reputation is of course baseless. We in the forwards are always delighted when a back with a silly haircut jinks his way through the opposition to score a try!
After a good win against Mill Hills 2s the previous week, Bishops Stortford Vths arrived at Silver Leys for their seventh league game of the season in confident mood. After the savage disappointment of close loss to Enfield Ignatius the week before still causing great frustration in the camp, the team remain focussed on ensuring that they do everything they can to make sure that there are no more slip ups during the remainder of the season. In order to be in one of the top two positions at the end of the 2009-2010, we will need to ensure that we are on top of our game every week.
Although still missing a few regular players through injury, illness and suspension at this point of the season, the Vths are still able to put out a strong team to face any opposition who we come up against. This week’s opponents, Old Albanians 5ths, were sitting in 4th place in the league table prior to the game, just one place below Bishops Stortford. As ever Cookie gave us the “Nobody comes a thousand miles to Stortford to play us unless they are serious and want to win, so no messing (or some such word) around and get your heads on”. Doubtless the phrase ‘another W’ was involved as well! Indeed the game also marked the fully fledged return of another 5th team classic phrase as used by Mark Davy. It had to wait until the third or fourth lineout of the game, but the always popular “Through on the shit – plenty plenty” was given full opportunity to do its job. Mark has often been asked what the “plenty plenty” bit of this old chestnut refers to, but has as yet been unable to give a satisfactory explanation. It is of course possible that it is just a ruse to confuse the opposition, but this is doubted! However the absence of Vic Goddard meant we were unable to receive the customary advice about keeping mouths shut and only going through the captain to talk to the ref.
The game was a classic 5th team performance, and had all the aspects of our well developed game to the fore. The first ten minutes were played by a gang of headless chickens who acted as if they had never met and did not actually know how to play the game of rugby. During this time Old Albanians scored a penalty try following a handling error by Stortford in the OA’s half which was kicked forward and chased by one of their backs. As the Stortford players panicked a nameless member of the team ‘accidentally’ got in the way of the OA player who was about to score after chasing the ball the length of the pitch. The referee awarded the inevitable penalty try which was well converted by OAs. Around five minutes later OAs were 10-0 up following a kicked penalty. Ten minutes in and Stortford’s self-destruct button seemed to be stuck in the fully on position. Cue some, it has to be said, excellent inspiration from Kev Green, Cookie and Stobbsy about getting it together and sorting ourselves out, and the game started to resettle. A ten minute period followed in which the game was well balanced between the two sides, and by the end of the first quarter of the game a well fought out contest was developing – however OAs still led by ten points to nil.
After this things moved nicely in the direction of the Mighty Vths as we started working together as a team. Two tries came from Geoff Ridgewell, who was running at the opposition like a possessed madman, and an unfortunate bounce through the legs of the OA’s fullback saw Callum Brace touch down for a third. A fourth was almost added by Steve Drew picking up the ball at the back of a ruck and diving over the line with it. However he clearly forgot that he is only 2ft6 and even though his arms were stretched out as far as possible, the ball came down about three inches short of the tryline! However Happy Dwarf did make his appearance this week as Drewy was able to dive acrobatically through the air to land on a loose ball after it had gone over the OA’s tryline late on in the game to score a try. All talk in the bar afterwards (even it should be noted by people who were not even watching the game) seemed to focus on the unnecessarily balletic nature of the dive to touch the ball down. Drewy’s personal spokesdwarf (Grumpy) would like to point out that he had run a good forty metres after the ball and that making sure the ball was touched down for the try was all that was in his mind as he dived for it. Anyone suggesting that 10 points should have been awarded rather than five is simply being silly!
An honourable mention in dispatches has to be given at this stage for Paul Dodds for some amazing running at the opposition in the second half. Doddsy was like a wild animal as he pounded into player after player in search of more tries for the Mighty Vths. His play was key in breaking down the defences of OAs in the second half so that Stortford could end up strong victors in the match.
The game ended 32-10, so clearly a fifth try was scored by someone. It is also clearly the case that two conversions were added by Sellers. The team would like to congratulate Sellers for his efforts in this department, and also to welcome Dave Archer back to the team for next week’s game against OMT 2s!
However the crowning glory of the game came with the last kick of the match. Jonny Wilkinson has made his entire career (so it would seem) on the back of one dropgoal - the same can perhaps now be said for our team’s senior member, known with great affection of ‘Dad’. Alan Stobbs received the ball around twenty metres out and about five metres to the left of the posts. As the other 29 players on the pitch looked on in dumbstruck awe, Stobbsy loosened up his body, adopted the necessary posture, dropped the ball deftly on to the ground and swept it with absolute precision high through the posts. This thing of beauty, this representation of perfection, this events to savour in the annals of 5th team history, acted as a fitting glory to the efforts of the day. The referee blew his whistle and the game was ever – crowned by an action of genius.
Of course it should also be mentioned that Mark Sellers scored two conversions.
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